Older brother may have Asperger's. Never diagnosed. Issues at home.

Hello. I am hoping this is the right place to post this.

I found this group because I am starting to get “help us” requests from my parents regarding my brother, and thought I could get some insight and suggestions here.

My older brother (in his 50s) may have Asperger’s. He was never tested. He’s always had difficult making friends. He did well in school with grades and test scores. He doesn’t like hugs. I’m the only one who can hug him. Getting close to anyone is difficult for him. He is OCD, which has gotten worse as he gets older.

He has had difficulty holding down a job and now even finding one. He hasn’t had a permanent job in almost 10 years. He is good at computer related tasks. He used to teach ESL, but he told me he never felt comfortable teaching. He goes overseas once a year to help his one and only really good friend develop teaching materials and produce educational books. He is on the computer all the time. He's done lots of research into AI and ESL.

The issue is that his OCD has him obsessing over his diet and weight (I think part of this stems from his wanting to control something in his life and weight is a personal thing he can control). My parents called me and said “he is looking like a scarecrow.” They also told me that my brother can’t stand cooking smells. They are having to heat their food out in the garage so they don’t make him sick. When they do cook he opens the windows and uses a fan to blow out the smell. This is making their heating bill go way up as he blows the warm air out with the food smell.

They called because they don’t know what to do. I finally told my dad that I think my brother has Asperger’s, but I can’t confirm it. I said I’d work on some sort of solution for them.

I don’t think this is just an eating disorder.

Any suggestions? Does this even sound like Asperger’s? If it does sound like Asperger's, how can I approach him regarding the cooking smells, etc. He doesn't handle confrontation well, so we all walk on eggshells around him. We love him very much but don't know what to do.

  • To be honest I'm not sure it's Aspergers. I'm not a doctor just a parent with a son with Aspergers. I would suggest getting him into therapy & maybe the therapist can get him the right diagnosis & hopefully the proper medication. Good Luck to you.