anything funny????

happydays fairy

im starting this thread as i feel as well as alot of other people at the moment very down and fed up ,knowing that we all could do with a giggle so please if anyone has any funny stories they could share or a funny joke (leo i know you will have lol) anything at all that will make us laugh again please please share lots of huggggggggggggs

nikki410

Ok I already said this in chat but maybe others will laugh. AS most of you know our James is currently at my house. While driving to do errands my 3 yr old Alex getting confused because he always says Aunt Courtney this or that, well he looked at James and plain as day says...........Aunt James what ya doing lol

happydays fairy

well thats funny enough alredy i actually forgot to start off with a funny storie myself duhhhh lol!! . I remember one day i was in town with a friend and we were sttod outside some shops and her reciept blew out of her hand she chased it got to it bent down to pick up and it blew away again we were both in complete hysterics laughing and getting some very funny looks she finally got to it after chasing it around in circles and yes it blew off again by this point the tears were running down my face and hers and also others in the town were laughing too it was soooooooo funny after chasing it around she finally caught it and we laughed all the way home the next day walking home from school together my umbrella blew away and went all inside out ,again we were laughing and i was chasing it down the road i finally got hold of it and was trying so hard to get it back to the right way with the wind blowing and laughing our heads off in the end i just gave up and threw it in a bush and we walked away laughing still when a man came out of his house and told me off for throwing it in the bush so i had to go pick it up but still i carried on laughing i think he thought we was nuts lol but it was fun and i felt like a big kid again !!

seji and Gracie

Seji have nother funny story about Gracie. Gracie and Seji dont watch too much Tv because like outside in nature better. But Gracie loves to watch disney cartoons on the old Tv in Seji's room. Except Gracie hates commerrshals. When commershals come on and interrupt her favorite cartoons, Gracie always cries and wont stop crying until the commershals stop and her cartoons come back on. When the commershals stop and her cartoons back again Gracie always stops crying and wags her tail. Her favorite disney carttoon person is Goofy. When Gracie sees Goofy she wags her tail so hard her whole body moves and makes the bed shake. Seji thinks watching Gracie watch Tv is more amusing than watching Tv.

happydays fairy

ha ha ha ha seji that is sooooooooooooooo funny what a clever gracie wish i could see that ha ha can seji give gracie big hug from me and thank her for making us laugh xx

domsdad

aunt james ! who can top that?
well something funny happened to me today, well it was funny for me anyway.
i drive a big truck and today while behind a strip center with a oneway driveway only wide enough for one vehicle i was doing one of my every monday stops when a car came the wrong way up the drive. it approached my truck with an angry driver in it and came to the front of my truck blowing his horn and screaming for me to get out of his way.
so i responded like i always do with rude people...i smiled and waved hi to him, which made him even madder he beeped more and yelled louder. this prompted my next usual response ....i smiled and blew him a kiss !
all the time hes getting madder and im laughing harder, i love this kind of entertainment, better than reality tv !
well he gets so mad he gets out of his car and comes up to my truck door and asks me whats so funny and why am i laughing so much, so i tell him that its because he reminds me of my autistic 8 year old having a meltdown !
this left him speechless so he got in his car and left. at this point i look at the back of the building and there is a group of people standing there rolling around crying in hyterics, they told me that the man was their regional manager and he is a real bully to work for so the show was priceless to them.
as i told them you can teach the dumb, you can enlighten the ignorant, but you just cant fix stupid !

domsdad

aunt james !im still laughing here!

seji and Gracie

Seji and Gracie think it helps a lot to talk about funny things funny storie. Cause Seji learn long long long time ago that best way to survive even most terrible things is to find something like funny Gracie to cause your throat to make laughing sounds. Seji and Gracie think that best way to never give up and die or stop trying no matter how many terrible things happen. Cause no matter how big sad or how big confused or how big scaredv and desprite get from trying be in human world. If can just find even only one happy thing or funny thing then that enuff to forget terrible things that take away hope. And then can still smile anyway and say to dog or tree people Seji and Gracies 5 faverite words AND SO IT IS GOOD.

happydays fairy

leo i knew yours would be fun lol if i was there i think i would probably of been on the floor laughing sooo much ha ha im just picturing you blowing the kisses at him and i cant stop laughing thank you ,your a cab lol .And seji i totally agree with you laughter is one of the best medicines and i feel so many feeling down at the moment so i hope this thread will give you all a little laugh and help in some way! love to all xx

Mama Nix

Fairycakes, thank you so much for starting this stream, it has made me laugh.

Leo, I wish I'd been there!!

Seji, you and Gracie are a total comfort and joy. Thank you so much for telling us your stories. I definitely have laughing sounds in my throat when I read them!

Keep it up everyone - these threads are important. Laughter is an essential thing to share.

Much love to all

Nix

holytoledo

cl7king, thanks for the great story about Gracie. When I first started reading it, I didn't realize gracie was a dog.... she sounds wonderful. Domsdad, I like how you respond to someone's raging. The guy obviously needed to be taken down a peg or two, good work.

I'll try to keep track of some of the funny things my kid says & does. I think my husband secretly got her going on this one, but one day I started singing "Route 66" while doing some cleaning, and the next thing I know my child is crawling around the floor saying "666" over & over. The context is, I teach sunday school. We also like a lot of puns at our house, they are always hard to remember after the fact.

Once I was out at a bar (when I was single, long ago) with a friend & his much younger date. She started complaining about her parents & mentioned that they were "a couple of freaks." I said with a totally straight face, "Oh really, I'd like to meet them, I'm a freak too."

I'm terrible at telling jokes, so I won't even try! But will try to add any funny moments from home. Thank you for getting it started, happydays Fairy!

cammigirl

That reminds me of a good one:

I had my 3 kids at my in-laws one night for a visit. All three boys were playing with action figures and cars in the middle of the floor. All of a sudden out of the blue, Walter (my aspie) grabs one of the cars, slams a spider man action figure on top of it and pushes the whole thing across the floor, saying "You'll never take me alive, coppers!"

I'm still laughing thinking about it.

happydays fairy

i remember one day not long after having my 2nd child i had news that shane ritchie from eastenders was coming to my local supermarket to sign books of his autobiography ,for those who dont know eastenders in a very popular soap on tv and shane ritchie is very nice indeed lol he was in eastenders one of the main characters ,well anyway when i heard this i was like wow im going to that supermarket ,so on the day off i trod with my big 3 wheeler buggy and kids in tow and when i get there i stand in huge queue waiting and waiting and waiting lol so finally im near the front of queue and along come the people from the local news station with thier cameras they go to a bunch of girls and ask talk to them about shane but they go all giggely and shy by this point fairy is bored of waiting so she says here over here ill talk giggling like mad so over they come and ask questions i answer and they said so what do you think of shane then? i answer with ohhhhhhh i thinks hes bliming gooooorgeous and was laughing me head off so after that i finally plod in with me buggy and get to shane go completely shy lol and then got me book signed ,i then went back outside to the back entrance and we all was waiting for him to come out in the meantime posting little notes through the window of the car waiting for him he comes out we all take photos and they drive away and yes i had to do it start chasing car up the road lol just for fun i then get home and my neighbour comes out house laughing omg you was just on the news !!! and i later saw it on the other news it was so funny and i had people in town joking with me asking for autograph lol it was a funny day i felt like a teenager again very silly but such a laugh xx

Mama Nix

My husband calls my youngest son, silly names like shortie and shortass, now Jake got irritated with this one day and turned round and said "Shut up you Garden Gnome". This is funny cos my husband is 6ft 4!!!!

seji and Gracie

Seji very calm and words easier after very good walk and talk with Tivah. So hope it ok with ASN people if while words easier Seji tell you nother true and very funny story about Gracie. This story about how Gracie almost make Seji believe she lost her mind. Seji know saving energy very importent. So Seji always turn old Tv in her room off when she leave to go outside to visit tree and bird friens or any other time leave room. But Seji keep going back to her room and finding Tv on. Seji sometimes have trouble remembering things until they become habit but once they habit she almost never forget. And Seji so used to turning off Tv when leave room not forget it anymore. This happen for weeks and Seji get so confused. She sure she turn Tv off but then she go back to room and Tv on. Then Seji remember sometimes she hear people in her family say when they think they remembered to do something but find out they not do it that they think they losing their mind. So Seji decide this must be problem she must be losing her mind. Then one day when Seji decide her mind must be all lost, she walk back to her room and see Gracie walk up to Tv and push power button with her nose and then jump up on bed to watch disney cartoons on Tv she just turn on. She make so many laughing sounds in throat it make eyes get wet. Then Seji go over and tell Gracie in sign language you old funny dog so you one who been turning on Tv. Seji have remote for old Tv in her room but Seji never use it. Since Tv close to bed when Seji want Tv on she just stretch arm out and push power button with finger. Seji thinks Gracie must have seen Seji do this and figured out for herself that she could do same thing with her nose. This solve 1 problem for Seji cause Seji used to worry what if Seji not there to turn on Tv when Gracie want to watch her faverite disney cartoons. Now Seji not worry about Gracie missing her faverite shows cause now anytime Gracie wants to watch cartoons she just push power button with her nose. But it make another funny problem for Seji, because now sometimes Seji wake up at 3 or 4 in morning to find Tv on and Gracie standing on bed next to where Seji trying to sleep wagging her tail at disney shows on Tv she just turned on. Seji has loved and known lots of dogs in her life but think Gracie funniest and smartest.of all. Gracie only dog Seji ever know who taught herself to turn on Tv with her nose. That hilarius. And Gracie only dog who ever know who when Seji lost who could pull her to safe place where Tivah and police could see her. That smart. Hope ASN people enjoy funny story about how Gracie almost make Seji think she lost her mind.

happydays fairy

seji we love hearing your stories they are amazing just like you and gracie are ,gracie deserves a medal she really do she is a lovely lovely dog and a brilliant friend to you ,thank you seji for sharing with us ,and gracie enjoy watching your disney programmes ! lots of huggggggggggggs fairy xx

mumofanna

Hi Seji... I found that story about Gracie and the tv very funny. Gracie is very clever indeed. Thank you for sharing all this with us Seji. Your stories are lovely to listen to..

WIth much love from

Elizabeth xxx

domsdad

dominic was clowning around with a friend of mine the other day, and yes i do have friends !!!
well he recently lost about 150lbs and still has a bit of a soft belly, well dom just walked up to him lifted his shirt grabbed on and started lifting a roll of fat up and down saying watch it wiggle watch it jiggle jello!! my friend is all ok with dom and is a great sport and dom laghed a belly laugh so hard we all about peed ourselves, guess you had to be there

Fiona V

alot of my friends are pregnant and so Jakob is learning about babie. He has desided he wants a brother or sister. He looked put my shirt and said "you having baby moma?" I simply said no. He went up to my husband and did the same. My husband tryed to explain that he could not have babies. Jakobs responce was "its okay I do it" and proceded to walk around like a pregnant lady for the day. At bed time he was pretending to have a baby (where he saw this I don't know) "oh no moma it empty!" I couldn't help but laugh!!!

holytoledo

seji, I love that dog! Also love how I can "hear" the English accent in happydays Fairy text. It's the same with a Hungarian lady I know, she types just the way she talks and you can hear her voice beautifully when you read her emails.

Something seasonally funny, my daughter used to bug me & bug me to give her a little brother, and wrote to Santa asking for one. She finally accepted that Santa could not bring a baby brother. Then she asked for dynamite!!! Just thought she might need some.

happydays fairy

lol holytoledo !! im proper posh i am !! yeah do type the way i talk too lol.My funny story today is all the fun we have at chat here in fact some days i laugh so much tears are rolling down me face ,we are there to help and support anyone but we also have so much fun and laughs if the time is right ,we have parties and they are sooooooooo funny we play games,and its so luvly as it feels so real and to actually laugh again is such a good feeling and if you are lucky fairy might even share cakes with you!! lol,so anyone here who wants a little giggle or any support with anything at all -(yes anything lol i even had help tday from bruv damo with me surveyor kitchen problem !!) just come along anytime we will be there for you xx

holytoledo

thanks for cake, fairy! This is a great place to share ideas. I've had lots of help & hope I've helped a few people w. my experiences, too. I have ancestors from the former ship-building town of Shearness by the way. Something funny from a trip to England with friends a few years ago. We had a couple of teenage girls with us, & were visiting yet another castle, & one of the girls pointed & said, "oh look at that nice little stone wall!" and one of the older ladies said "better take a picture quick, because we won't be seeing many more of those!" Also sheep, we stopped taking pictures of sheep after a couple of days...

Delta 1 6

Hey hey hey hey. I am the poster child for the term "Crash Dummy". I tried racing sister to car in Arizona. I wasn't looking forward the whole time. I didn't see the me-sized cactus that decided to grow in my way. I didn't run into, or over it, but I did plow clean through it. This followed by Andrea in the ER with me, yelling "Unthorn Him". I lost track at 150 "pokies" they pulled out of me. I used to call thorns "Pokies". I was 8 or 9 yrs old at the time. I don't know if I learned what thorns were, until a little while after, until like age 12 or something.

Told you all I was, and still am, a jack of all trades when it comes to impersonating Doctor Destructo. I am but a test subject.

Gavia Immer

Holytoledo -- I've been in England for 12 years now, am I supposed to stop taking pictures of sheep?

Rosmom

Hello James:
I am so happy you are posting.
I have missed you.
Jason had a hard veterans day but he was better yesterday and today.
How are you?

Hugsssssssssssssssssssss
Ros

mumofanna

Hi people,

I know of a family who have six children, This family have good Christian values and had been teaching their children the Gospels and how to relate them to their lives. The children are not in the least bit spoilt being that there were six of them, but the parents were wondering if the youngest (he is 4) was able to understand their teachings.

One evening, after doing the weekly shop they gave all their children a bar of chocolate each. The four year old scurried off to eat his, and still licking his lips when it was all done, he walked into the living room to find his siblings all just about to eat theirs.

He sidled up to them-chocolate still around his mouth-looked at each of them with a big smile and said... 'You do know that Christians are supposed to share.'

When I heard that story, I thought that it was incredibly funny. Hope that you enjoy it as much as I did.

With love from

Elizabeth

April Hayman

Not exactly too funny but I laughed and my older kids got a big kick out of it!

I was cleaning my son Tyler's room and he was helping me pick up his toys. I picked up a talking dump truck and held it against me. Something liquid came out of the dump truck as the truck says "Let's get another load." Ty had pottied in the truck and I spilled it all over me!!!! I was not thrilled but the truck chimed in at the right time and I couldn't stop laughing!

Elizabeth, that is too cute!!! Children say the cutest things! LOL

All these stories are too funny!!! Thanks for starting this thread! It is deff what I needed tonight!!!

holytoledo

Hi April, it gives new meaning to the words "Dump truck".
Hi Gavia, didn't anyone tell you that you could stop taking pictures of sheep?? just kidding. Each sheep is an individual. Most of my crowd stayed pretty excited about rocks & stones over in England. Except one girl would not get out of the car to go "look at another damn rock" as she called it, but it was an amazing ruin of an old roman temple! and of course in Paris, everyone was really really ticked off at me for insisting on taking pictures of subway entries.

domsdad

dominic was getting ready for school today and as usual he wanted to bring some of his toys. i told him that he cant bring those things or the school would be mad at me and yell at me. he said no it wont...buildings dont talk, its the teacher that will be mad at you !

seji and Gracie

Gracie turmed nother very terrible day into very funny day. Today nothing seemed any good. Pricked finger and got lowest blood sugar level than ever before. Mother go to store to get candy for Seji to suck cause Gavia and Tivah say might help. Mother bring home candy that say in big letters on pacige 0 sugar 0 carbs so Seji know that candy not help. Seji try write nice note saying thankyou to mother and want her to enjoy candy but wrong kind for Seji. Seji need more sugar not 0 sugar now. But mother refuse note. Seji keep trying give it to her and she keep putting downand wont read. Finally Tivah call and Seji lern from watching mother and Tivah that mother pay more attenshun to Seji when Tivah here, so when Tivah start talking mother agan Seji brave and give mother note agan about it being wrong kind of candy and this time mother read. Then nother very bad thing. Noise at neighbors hurt Seji's ears so much when lots of trucks come and men come smoking smelly cigrets and talk about cutting down trees next door. Seji so sad big trees next door going to be cut down and loud noises hurt ears so much so just when Seji think she cant stand 1 more minute of this very terrble day Gracie make her laugh and laugh until almost fall over not from diabetes but from too much hard laughing coming out of Sejis throat. Gracie start jumping high up in air and turning sircles in air and landing in pile of leaves. She keep jumping up and turning in air and running to difrent parts of yard to do it. Then she lay down on nother pile of leaves on her back with her feet in the air and her tong sticking out. Seji sign old funny dog old funny dog and pet Gracie and stop thinking about everthing terrble. Seji starts laughing now evertime look at Gracie and remembr how funny she look in leaves.

Josie Gonzales

HI!!! EVERYONE I WAS VERY BUSY MY SON CESAR WAS PRACTING BAND HE WAS IN THE VETERAN'S PARADE HE WAS SOO HAPPY AND I WAS SOO PROUD OF CESAR SEE HIM SMILE & PERFORMING WAS SOO GREAT. THIS WEEK CESAR WAS SOO FUNNY HE'S ALWAYS TELLING JOKES TO ALL IN THE HOUSE IT'S GREAT TO SEE HIM SMILE WHEN MY SON IS HAPPY I'M HAPPY. SINCE I START TO READ THE POST HERE I START TO LAUGHING IT'S VERY FUNNY TO BE HERE NEVER CHANGE. HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGS FOR EVERYONE .YOUR FRIEND JOSIE

domsdad

i asked dominc if he would be interested in going to a weekend camp out at camp cheerful where he attends summer camp.its very close to home , he is familiar with it and would give me a much needed weekend of respite.
when i first mentioned camp cheerful he was excited but once he found out it was for a whole weekend without me his response was.....no way jose, that plan just dont fly in my airport, you can count me out dadio cuz thats not the way i roll !
pretty hip for an 8 year old !

happydays fairy

lmao he sounds so much like you i bet its constant laughs in your house bless him ,i bet hes so proud to have such a happy fun dad who makes so many jokes you are wicked leo hey and dont forget tonight free admission for me i bring the knitting and bingo cards you bring the teas and coffees lol . My laugh for today is my little man comes to see me he has picked off one of me roses he holds behind his back then comes over with a smile and gives the rose to me and says mummy will you marry me lmao bless his heart i then had to explain as much as i love you jack mummys dont marry sons he thought about this and replied i know you can marry me when im bigger yeah? i said baby i will always love you and one day you will find a special lady that you can marry but it cant be me coz im your mummy he then walked off smiling lol xx

mumofanna

now, that is simply brilliant.. Dom sounds like a right little character. :0)

With love from

Elizabeth

La Luna

Franco and I was on the bus. And this lady gets on the bus. She was wearing a big hat, and a necklace that made her neck look bigger. And her dress was yellow with brown and black spots. Franco looks at the lady and says really loud: Look mummy!! She looks like a giraffe.
I just heard the whole bus trying to hold their laugh. And the lady looks at me very angry. But Franco was right, she did look like a giraffe. But at the moment I just wanted a hole to hide in.

Josie Gonzales

HI LUNA THIS SOO FUNNY I'M JUST LAUGHING OF THAT IT'S VERY FUNNY!!! JOSIE

cammigirl

That was way cool, Domsdad!

happydays fairy

my friend on here called caz made me laugh so much the other day i was out in crowded shops not liking it one bit but had to be done for xmas so im in this shop and me phone rings its caz what a lovely surprise to hear her voice for the first time she rings to wish me a merry xmas and then she had me in stitches she is welsh and i said wow you sound like gavin and stacy off the telly and so she says fairy i will put you over my knee and smack your bottom young lady for being cheeky by this point i was laughing so loud and she kept saying such funny things i was getting so many looks in the shop it was completely hilarious and i havent laughed like that for long time thank you caz so much for making my shopping trip easier lol even my 6 year old daughter has spoke caz on phone and says mummy can we ring the funny lady today!! lmao thank you caz for being you and making me laugh i loves ya xxxxxxxxx

happydays fairy

laughter is the best medicine lets share it all around yes we all had some problems on here lately upset sadness and hiccups but hey lots of family argue at times and it is xmas after all but whatever happened i still love you all and am very glad to have found this place so im now gunna stop being upset and just laugh at all the good times and feel the proudness in my heart that i have you all in my life sending happy thoughts to you all keep on laughing ill get the cakes out xxxxxx

Kali67

OK well I have to join in here because I have had some funny moments of late with puppy.

Puppy loves to chew, puppy is being passively trained with what we call the "Time Out Room", yes thats right, we have time out rooms for puppies too haha.

Whenever puppy tries to chew me or other people he is reprimanded and if he continues to do so he gets put in the time out room which happens to be my bathroom because I have no other place that he cannot do anything destructive in this house.

Today puppy chewed and after much protest on my part it was inevitable that he would end up in this room, after a minute he stopped whining after 5 I was curious because he sounded awfully happy in there, like it was his play room, a couple of minutes more I decide to go in there and let puppy out because thats what I do as soon as he settles down.

Wow, what a sight, I find puppy fast asleep underneath a sea of toilet paper which I had forgotten to remove. The toilet wouldn't flush because he'd managed to turn the tap off and it wouldn't fill up. Serves me right. It was priceless to see, no wonder he was so happy lol and so much for time out.

happydays fairy

the andrex puppy pops to head how cute and funny i bet he brings so much happiness to your life ahhhhhhhhh xxxxxxxx

Kali67

lol yeah pretty much, we call it the rollie puppie here in NZ, but yes its pretty funny to watch.

idahobot

i couldn't finish reading all the funny posts because my eyes were so wet with funny tears. what a great thread. Please continue, My daughters call their uncle auntie Rick so dont feel alone James.

happydays fairy

glad you had a laugh today ida and shared the happiness thank you very much even just knowing someone sat there laughing so much with tears rollingdown face is enough to make me laugh lmao xx

mumofanna

Ok here is a funny story for you all...

My son has severe adhd... when he was about 8 years old I caught him at the cupboard and knew that he had eaten something...being that it was a medicine cupboard...I was rather concerned..but could see that he had been enjoying what he ate...

I said Daniel... what have you eaten?!!! He looked up at me with the most innocent face he could muster .. and said nothing.. as he was swallowing something!!!

I looked at him and in the cupboard and said...

Did you eat any chocolate Daniel?

He said no... then I said... it is medicine Daniel... not sweets ... that is chocolate laxatives... did you eat any??

Again he said no...but spent the next two days on the loo!!!!

How I laughed... and said you definitely ate chocolate laxatives ...

His response... "How do you know?"

lmao...

wsn1946

British story: when we first got to England, we helped a friend at his business. i was reading an invoice number to her and said, "123 slash 456 slash" and so on. She started laughing uncontrollably. I asked her what was so funny. she said, "a slash is what a man does in a urinal (pronounced your eye nal)." i was so embarrassed i laughed my ass off.

as Sir Winston once said, "America and England are two countries separated by a common language."

warren

happydays fairy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0bt9xBuGWgw FAIRY THINKS THIS WILL MAKE YOU ALL LAUGH I LOVE IT SOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY PLEASE WATCH XX

Tivah Brown

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhahahhahahah I love that Fairy. Thank you so much for posting that on here for everyone to love. I watched it again and again with each of my kids. Awesome!

wsn1946

Have to share this story - it's apocryphal.

warren

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We
turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our
pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

We phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived
and we opened the front door to leave the house.

The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn't
want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird.

My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get the cat. The
cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, my wife
doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for the
night. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon,
"He's just going upstairs to say Goodnight to my mother."

A few minutes later, I get into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I said,
as we drove away. "That stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. I had to
poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take
off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket
to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat ass
downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"

The cab driver hit a parked car.....

domsdad

omg.....thats funny !!

Kali67

lmao...what a hoot, thats hilarious Warren,...I'm still laughing, can't type its so funny.

Kali67

Fairy I just had a look at frostie, he's gorgeous...thank you that was great.

mumofanna

hilarious

domsdad

ok ..so our front door has a deadbolt lock that uses a key on the outside and the inside, i keep a key for it hung high on the wall next to the door.
last week the key came up missing and i asked dominic if he did anyting with it.
he said yes he put it in a special place....but forgot where it was.
i looked for the key for a week, no luck.
so tonite i went to use the computer in the living room, there was crumbs on the desk so i lifted the keyboard to wipe it of and ..tada.. there was the front door key under the keyboard.
when i asked dominic why he put it there his reply was...arent keys supposed to be on a keyboard ?

happydays fairy

hahahahahahahahahahah leo bless doms little heart thats so funny give little man a high 5 from me lmao xx

Rania Z

Well here's my funny story that just happened today with my 6 year-old boy Seif:

We're currently at a beach resort & I told Seif we had to leave a day early because his grandmother missed him so much and wanted to see him. He told me with all seriousness, "Take a picture of me and send it to her." I LOVE THAT KID!!! I guess grandma has to wait.

wsn1946

Leo, your Dom is a genious. who woulda thought?

Rania, your son is too smart by far! Love it! That quip has to go down in history!

warren

idahobot

I dont remember where i heard this, maybe here but here it is. A mom noticed that her son never seemed to wash his face when he took a bath or shower. When she asked why he told her he had shampoo for hair, body wash for body, tooth paste for teeth etc. Mom went and bought "face wash" problem solved.

[Updated on 1/6/2010 6:12 PM] I forgot to tell the funniest part! this was when i realized that i was doing the exact same thing!! went and washed my face with my daughters facewash.

fullerfam04

My son came downstairs and asked me for an apple, so I said go ask you dad. So my husband comes downstairs and say"What, you can't get your son an apple you know I'm cooking breakfast" my reply.......I wanted to see how it felt to be you LOL

happydays fairy

ha ha ha ha that is soooooooooooooooooooo funny i love it reminds me when my other half wake up moaning no sugar for his coffee saying to me why didnt you get sugar when you went food shopping 3 days ago i sat there listening to him moaning on i cant believe you forgot the sugar blah blah blah i then says stop!! and i say last night when you went to the shop may i ask why you didnt get sugar to him he says ummmmm coz i didnt i said well i know that but why didnt you he says ummmm i forgot ? i said oh did you so did i wen i went food shopping oh he says im sorry i said well 3 days ago we didnt need sugar lol that shut him up works both ways lovie lol xx girl power i think lol xx

Rania Z

A relative of mine who knows my son has Asperger's asked me with concern, "How is Seif coping with his Asparagus?" I laughed so hard I forgot to answer her question. Asparagus is not a bad name... it's healthy and kinda grows on you!

happydays fairy

THATS FUNNY HA HA ASPARAGUS SYNDROME LOL MY SON SAID IT LIKE THIS FOR WHILE-- A BURGERS LOL NOT SO HEALTHY BUT STILL YUMMY THANKS FOR SHARING RANIA XX

fullerfam04

Yesterday my daughter and I were talking and somehow the subject of "color" came up. So I asked her well what color are you and she said, "i'm brown" so to test her and to see if she knew what she was talking about I asked well what color is mommie? she says (as serious as can be), "mommie you know you're peach" and all I could do was laugh. If others could only see it as something that simple, I'm brown you're peach let's play.

idahobot

my oldest son said he is "beige" He also asked why some people are called white, said hed never seen a "white" person. probably because white is the color of paper and you rarely ever see anyone that color

fullerfam04

I know I know my life is full of funnies here goes another. I thought I was doing something wonderful by caulking the windows around the house inside and out. So my husband gets home from work and says, "babe what did you do with the glue inside of this caulk gun? I need it to finish a project" Oh well all I can say is we'll never have to worry about air getting in or out LOL Who knew they sold glue refills for those things???

[Updated on 1/6/2010 5:41 PM]

happydays fairy

thats brilliant fullerfam laughing lots at that keep them coming we all needs some laughter thank you fullerfam for sharing xx

holytoledo

Asparagus Syndrome.... that's hilarious Rania. I've also heard hamburger & cheeseburger syndrome. Idahobot, my daughter & I have talked a few times about colour and race & how we use the words "white" or "black" but those are just not accurate enough for her! So it's got to be things like "light" or "dark" or "sort of brownish" or "apricot coloured" or "pinkish" or "really really dark" or "yellowy brown" etc. etc. Maybe if everyone thought in these terms, there would be less racial prejudices & conflicts. Too many variations to draw those lines around!

wsn1946

When I was much younger, and even more angry, I bought the packages that N****** were evil and that Muslims were all out to kill non-Muslims, and - you get the picture. One day I woke up to this programming and to how restrictive it was and started looking at peoples' hearts rather than their faith or their colour. I have found this approach much more expansive and I have learned a lot about people: sameness as well as differences.

We as humans are beautiful. We who share being on the Spectrum or having a loved one on the Spectrum share a bond that, I can only imagine, is like unto soldiers who have shared combat. It is both beautiful, for the bond, and horrifying, for the objective reality.

I prefer to live my life sharing love and looking for similarities while celebrating differences rather than hating people for their differences and refusing to see the similarities. I cherish everyone on this forum for what we have shared individually before we met and for what we are sharing now. By admitting that we don't know, we are subject to learn. And I have learned a great deal from the members of this Forum.

warren

Jamie Mansell

Back to the color of people... My son is light as light can be with blonde hair and blue eyes. And because he keeps his hair short he swears he is President Obama's twin. Now that is the only way he will wear his hair. He has a poster of Obama on his ceiling in his room over his bed.

domsdad

so tuesday i took dominic sled riding at the park its a great hill for the kids. at the bottom by the parking lot there is a burn barrell, you know a drum with the lid off and holes in the sides to have a fire in.
well dom and i were around the fire, i was in my grubby work clothes, we had a sled that i drug over with a cooler of snacks and such. i made the comment to dom that it looks like we are practising to be homeless people, hanging around a burn barrell with all our stuff.
wednsday we went sledding again, and i was by the burn barrell.
a very well dressed woman came walking over, she had on a long fur coat and dress shoes and i guess was there to see or pick up some of her kids that were already there.
dom says to her, hey if your cold you can come over and warm up by the fire that my dad made.
she says to him that its nice that i made him a fire to warm up by ...does your dad always do that for you?
dominic replied...no me and my dad are just practicing for being homeless !!
the look on her face was priceless !

Louisa

Great story about practicing for being homeless....I bet that gave the woman a lot to think about!

Rania Z

Hahahaha... Dom is adorably funny! I love reading about what he says!

cammigirl

That one was a classic, wsn1946!!!!!!

wsn1946

thanks cam

domsdad

yesterday i took my kids to our favorite pizza place and then to chuck-e-cheese to play.
for those unfamiliar with chuck e cheese its is a place thats sells pizza and has loads of electronic games the kids use tokens to play. it is total chaos screaming kids, an overload of noise from all the games. the only saving grace is that when you go in you and your kids are stamped with a code number on your hand and they cant leave without you, the door is guarded.
over the years we have gotten to know the one manager very well, since even at chuck e cheese dominic makes his prescence known.
the manager asked us why we never eat the pizza there and would we like to try some on the house.
doms reply was no way dude, we tried the pizza here ...and it sucks ! if you want some good pizza we have some out in the car that you can have.
well john the manager just laughed and took dom up on his offer as he is always looking for a good local pizza shop too.

gyro812

I'm an Aspie person ,
with tourette I'd be a clock,
The Tourette would make me ticc,
My Aspergers would make me tock
I'd never need a battery
in any part of me
I'd just keep going on and on
because I've O.C.D
gyro812

domsdad

lol, gyro,
and your a poet...
and dont know it....

Quirky2212

I love it gyro - it made me laugh!

Quirky2212

Every now and then my 12 year old tests me to see what he can get away with in terms of "bad words". He goes to my fathers house a few days a week for tutoring (Papa's), and one of my fathers phrases when he is frustrated is "I don't give a rat's ass about...." So my 12 year old was going on and on about something that was frustrating to him, and he came out with "and I don't give a rat's hat" - totally serious, not realizing that he was missing the critical "bad word" in the phrase. Luckily I was in the other room so he didn't see me burst out laughing. He still doesn't know the real phrase! Clearly my father had a frustrating tutoring day that day.

Angie Girl

I remember when I was doing my driving test many years ago ,and my instructor told me to drive down a small street. which i did , and this old man was coming at me in his car , but, he could"nt get pass due to other cars that were park"ed on his side of the road ,he was having a melt down , swearing to beat the band at me so, I rolled down my window and ask him for a kiss, need i say he was,ent to pleased , but my instructor feel around the place laughing.

Angie Girl

There was another time when i come home from the doctor,s and told my husband i have an infection in my ear, i said my left one ,and he said what type of infection I said emphysema! he was laughing his head of , and for nearly ten minutes , i was really getting annoyed with him , untill i realize i should have said eczema to this day we have a good laugh about it.

Xxdr.house

.

[Updated on 1/24/2010 9:16 PM]

Tivah Brown

I love these great posts. I'll share one.

My son was wearing his shirt inside out (when he was about 3 years old). I said "Hey Steven, your tag is on the outside. Do you want me to help you fix it?" He said "No thanks, I can get it back in the house by myself"

[Updated on 1/17/2010 4:55 PM]

Tivah Brown

Here's another one. My daughter, Leah, asks for a kitty at the age of three. We knew we didn't want to get another pet until the kids were older. So we told her we can't get a kitty until she is 6 or 7 years old. She thought she had it figured out. She said "oooh....is it still in your tummy"

Ok and here's one last one. This is copied from an old email i saved and the silly behavior was not even from a child! Jeff is my husband.

Tivah said “Jeff will you please get me a plastic fork?” Jeff returns with a plastic knife. I say, “No, not that one, a fork.” Jeff rubs the serrated plastic knife and says “We don’t have any forks that aren’t serrated.” I laugh and say, “What is that (pointing at what he has in his hand). He says, “A fork.” His 3 year old son, Steven, says “A knife.” We all laugh!!!

Quirky2212

As I write this my 9 and 12 year old boys are in the bathroom with our golden retriever - attempting to give her a bath - by themselves. Jeada (the dog) typically refuses to get into the tub. I can hear the water running, and have seen the kids go by with milkbones and dog toys. I don't know who will come out of the bathroom wetter. No better way for kids to learn teamwork! And the scene is hysterical. Lucky we have such a gentle, good-natured dog.

happydays fairy

ahhhhh thank you for posting more funny stories real good to hear them all and give a bit of sunshine quirky im sat wondering how the bath went lol and who got the wetest lol hugggggggs xx

domsdad

tonight i took my kids to get a haircut, by chance the one day my daughter jasmine wanted a haircut so we went somewhere different than where i used to take dominic. dom and i would get our hair cut at the local barber shop and as many of you know haircuts can be a hair raising event!
at the time we went to get jasmines haircut i had no intention of getting dom a haircut too, but he took a liking to the woman that was cutting jasmines hair and when she was done he asked....yes asked if he could get his cut too !
since then britnay has been cutting the kids hair. she has a way with dom that is great. i dont know if it is the way she handles dominic or the fact that she is a real pretty woman and dom may have the hots for her, lol , either way it takes the stress out of one more thing for me to deal with,,,yayay!
so tonite we get there and britnay had seen that dom had cut his own hair again. oh yeah and his eyelashes too...by the way he pulled that one off while in school, and said...well dom how do you want me to cut this so it will look good.
dominic replied...just do your thing there babe...your the boss...im the sauce !
and yes he did learn that one from me !

wsn1946

When I lived in Germany, I first went to the barber on the Army Post where I was stationed. My wife convinced me to go to the next village and have big-bosomed German frauleins cut my curly hair. MUCH more enjoyable. lol

warren

[Updated on 1/18/2010 11:58 PM]

Quirky2212

Warren -
Just wanted you to know that I was having a frustrating morning, so I came onto this thread to get a laugh. Your post cracked me up! Thank you. Feeling much better!

Fairy - the kids were definitly more soaked than the dog!

~Quirky

cammigirl

I absolutely love the poem, Gyro812!

Too cute!!!!!

ineedhelp2

This may be a "you had to be there thing" but here it goes i am a mother of a 6 year old little boy who doesn't talk and i am a huge blonde if it is in my way i WILL run into it. So one day i had my son on the potty and was getting his stuff and was walking back into the bathroom and i ran into the doorway and my son looks up at me so serious and say dah mom and i just lose it i laugh so hard i can't stand he was just so serious and it had been a 10 on the bad day scale so it was just great anyways it was way funner in life but there you have it

cammigirl

It's amazing how our kids can bring us through the worst of times with things like that, isn't it, ineedhelp2?

That's why I feel my son having Asperger's is a true blessing.

domsdad

yesterday i took my kids to an italian import food store in cleveland called gus galluci's.
my son dominic was getting into something on the shelves so a called out to him...dominic !
well being in a room full of italians 2 people in the store called back to me....what !
everyone got a laugh out of it including the manager whos name is dominic and thought i was shouting for him as his employees do it all the time.
the bakers name was dominic too and him and dom got to talking, my little guy looked at him very serious and asked him....so do you know the muffin man ?
once again i know they will remember us the next time we go there even if its months from now.
leo

Quirky2212

Leo - it must be the Italian in me that finds this whole scene hysterical! ~Quirky

letstalk

Leo- this is so funny im laughing now.

cammigirl

The muffin man story was just too funny, leo!!!!

I'm still laughing.

happydays fairy

lmao a week later i can laugh but at time was not happy ,i had spent all day cleaning mopped all my floors lookes and smelt lovely and clean ,and then i bring kids home from school and we are coming through back door and i say WIPE YOUR FEET as had been raining and muddy ,i turn around and jack had wiped his feet all over my kitchen floor everywhere ,i said what are you doing ON THE MAT JACK!! he stands there complete innocent and says oh you said wipe feet you didnt say on mat and he could not understand why i was cross ,it thought grrrrrrrrrr my lovely clean floors but looking back now it is funny he has to have everything explained exactly right way to understand ,hes a little monkey xx

happydays fairy

oh oh oh i got another one some in chat have heard this already but i found this soooooooo funny .One day i take my son to school and he just go into the class room and another parent says to me awww look at all there school work on the notice board so i stand with him and look at all the work ,all the children had wrote letters to henry the 8th and were displayed on the board ,there was some lovely long letters and they were real good ,i then spot my sons letter it says ,To henry the 8th you are so fat have you got horses from jack . i stood there and roared with laughter and the other parent saw it and we was both laughing so much that my belly hurt from laughter and even now i still laugh every time i think of it xx

dalcassian

OMG that is awesome fairy. If I wrote a letter to Henry the 8th it would not be suitable for display in school.

happydays fairy

he is sooooooooooo honest and just says what he sees but this one made me laugh so much huggggggggsxx

stephenie ellie

fairy u always make me laff and u get me run over when i ring u cos i cnt concentrate and walk into the road haha

happydays fairy

lol i really must teach you some road sense lmao bless ya ,everyone i have spoke to from here on phone just laughs whole way through the call but hey happiness is the best so whatever i do im glad it makes ya happy xx

stephenie ellie

yup u do make me happy even if i cant cross a road hahaha ur very funni hini ur accent is hillarious....................................... happy hapy happy happpy im in lanet cookoo land today so xcuse me xxx

happydays fairy

hmmmmmm my accent hey lol im posh i am real proper posh just have that added farmer into my proper spoken english is all lol xx

stephenie ellie

ha ha u posh no way xx proper spoke eh eh haha if you are a lady you will talk like all ladys do.xx

happydays fairy

hmmmm ok last one let me try ...hu hmmmm .one must depart now as one has roast dinner to prepare for ones family and for afters one may get out the scones and the pot of tea so one will talk to you later darling cheerio .laughing out loud xx

stephenie ellie

oh very posh my darling oh i am having a home baked lasagne and then one must do some work

oh poo it i cant be posh haha

cheerio me darlin xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

wsn1946

ellie you and fairy are quite crazy. yes, quite. quite, quite.

warren

(once stayed within ear shot of bow bell - does that make me a once stayed cockney)

one xmas went to the lake district and so so sloshed on single malt (scotch) whiskey that I sang all 150000 verses of John Peal - "d'ya ken John Peal with his coat so red....

(warren gets sick hearing himself singing when sober)

[Updated on 2/10/2010 12:48 PM]

happydays fairy

oh we are quite crazy are we how wonderful father jolly good sir lol hope to see you tonight kind man xx

stephenie ellie

talk for yourself hini haha and get ur but bk into lobby missus i miss xx

marisa

The other day in class we did a game were we had to act things out and I had to act out a sheep being hurded it was hilarious

Xxdr.house

My whole life is funny...what can i say? LOL

Kerenina

Rania Z, that's exactly what *my* mom called AS when she first explained that she & my dad suspect I have it (my mom's Japanese) - she said, "Have you ever heard of Asparagus Syndrome? Your dad & I think you probably have it." I'm sitting there thinking, "What, I haven't eaten asparagus for years!" Thankfully my dad called me later that day to clarify what she meant & what it was, and now I can laugh about it. I like "Asparagus" far more than "A**burgers" - that just sounds like a major McDonald's fail with a tag line like, "The only burger we make with real buns!" :P

Loved this entire thread, BTW. :D

happydays fairy

seeing some of my friends on here through web cam can be sooooooooo funny ,i remember when leo was getting his web cam set up omg it took us a while didnt it leo but anyways i was now gunna see my friend leo so we click it on and there he sits with an england flag and a firemans hat on ahahahhahahaahha and he says hello my lady with the voice of forest gump ,i then met leos son dom on there and he is an absoulute angel he had me laughing so so much ,and meeting nikk and her family on there ,her little boys are adorable one of them says to me fairy will you be my valentine? it was so so cute they make me laugh so much i get my sons spiderman toys and dinosaurs and we play through web cam ,to see my friends on here is an amazing thing and guarenteed we always laugh xx

happydays fairy

LOOK EVERYONE !! reading back through all this how much we all laughed together ,how many from asn joined in with this post ,these were special happydays ,lets keep this post going as we all on here deserve a smile and a giggle huggggggggggggs fairy xx

Mama Nix

Funny Film recommendation - if you like fast paced action packed comedies, go see Date Night with Steve Carrell and Tina Fey - absolutely hysterical.

On general release in the UK from 21 April.

Already Box Office smash in the US.

happydays fairy

hmmmmm when i read posts at bottom of each one i always thought it was a bit silly to have a picture of a yelllow toothbrush on a autism site and always thought why do that but just got on with it and sat here tomight ive realised i think its actually a yellow hand like waving or summing or maybe im wrong again and it is summing completely different as you dont get yellow hands well you do if you smoke about 100 fags a day i guess hmmm its 1.30am i think i need my bed as this toothbrush hand thing or watever it is is driving me insane night night all xx

happydays fairy

i spose actually looking at it again it could be a yellow speech bubble like they have in cartoon books hmmmm fairy shut up and go to bed xx

domsdad

ummm fairy you click the hand if you like the post and want to give it a thumbs up which actually goes on record for how many thumbs up you have in the top contributors section.
also new members have a hand next to them and if you scroll over it it waves , you click it and it will bring you to their inbox so you can say hello.
now the funny part, im sitting here wondering how in the hey you could brush the back of your teeth with such a short handled toothbrush...lol
by the way look at your last post, i gave it a thumbs up !
peace
gump

Christine J

Wow...I just got what you both were talking about...I laughed so hard, I almost lost the laptop from my lap! Thanks fairy and leo.

happydays fairy

ahahahahahahahhahaahhaahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaa leo i actually woke up early hours and was still guessing what the yellow thingymabob was it was on me head and i said to myself ill ask mr host tomz .now ive seen your reply and how clever is that so i moved me mouse around the hand and it moves lol like its dancing i cant believe its for thumbs up how clever but now im annoyed as since ive been here there is so many posts ive loved and like to thumbs up so doya think everyone can rewrite them for me lol ummmm i see your toothbrush point now gump but i bet i cud get it in my mouth to brush but i like a pink toothbrush not yellow anyways but its not even a blinking toothbrush so what am i even on about yep im a crazy woman was fun though guessing the yellow thing wasnt it christine lol xx

happydays fairy

hey leo ???? can you answer me this one lol now just now i hit my "funny bone'' on my chest of drawers and it actually real hurt me now why would anyone in this world even call it a funny bone? when it hurts coz im not finding it funny at all what a stupid thing to call it huh a funny bone ok the pain is lessening and im laughing a little bit but wat a really silly name to call it xx

Christine J

Fairy...I can answer that one...the bone there in your arm is called the humerous bone...hence, the funny bone!

happydays fairy

ohhhhhhhhh i seee christine well i never knew that you learn summing new every day and humerous sounds posher too hmm i like that i hit my humerous bone lol well i just got back with my new glasses and its all bit blurry at moment yellow thing still looks like a toothbrush lol xx

happydays fairy

one day i laughed on here so much and i just could not stop this is what happened lol im laughing already ... one day me and liz was in the chat room here a while ago and i was telling her that earlier on i was warned for profanity this was all a new thing ,me and liz was in a really silly mood and i said to her say a swear word liz and see if you get one to as we was wondering are we being watched so she said ok fairy and i waas waiting and waiting for her to say summing ,suddenly liz said the word turd and said no fairy i didnt get warned i was laughing so hard saying ahahhahahah that ent a swear word liz she says oh i dunno fairy i dont swear of course by this point we was both in stitches laughing i then whispered her some swear words so she know wat swear words were and i got warned for profanity of course now we was laughing even more i seriousely thought i was gunna wet myself we must of been doing this for an hour and was constantly laughing so much eventually she said a swear word and was warned for profanity we then realized we wasnt being watched it was a new automatic system that had been set up now i call liz my turd and even now thinking of that day makes me laugh ahahhahaha ohhhh ps host please see the funny side of this we was only testing the new system and no there was noone else in the room with us just me and liz a pair of crazy woman in very silly moods honestly we felt like naughty school kids but was proper funny xx

mumofanna

lmao at toothbrush!

I thought it was a polite swear word!!

I hate swearing lol

Can't believe you told everyone that lol.. I am sitting here with a red face, but yes it was funny.

:o)

Christine J

Liz, no reason to have a red face...it was very funny and we all need times to be silly. It keeps us sane! I enjoyed the story and laughed so much I had to tell my husband why I was sitting at my computer laughing. Ladies, be silly girls whenever the mood hits! I'd join you but I don't do chats...can't keep up and I'm considered NT...my problem is I'm just too old I guess (over 40 club).
Christine xo

kmdd22

Okay here's one earlier last week after school had already been dismissed i received a call from a parent who was irate and wanted to know why i had thrown her daughter's lunch into the garbage!!The child said that despite trying( i was reminding her to clean up only-- either to put what she wasn't eating back in the lunch bag/and the packaging into the garbage.) to eat her lunch that i had been bothering her to hurry up and clear the tabletop so we would go outside according to schedule.I had outside duty as well so had to be on time.The part she forgot to mention of course that she had thrown it out i suppose from feeling rushed but it was easier i guess to blame it on me than to answer to the wrath of her mom!!It was pretty amusing anyhow as i asked the little girl about it the next day and she said well i didn't know what to say my mom was REALLY mad!!And i didn't want it to be at me.

Christine J

You have to love her honesty....with you! Children are precious! I teach Sunday school and I have one little girl (5 yrs old) in my class that when I asked her what she was drawing, she smiled and told me it was a drawing for me...she gave me the drawing, but I still have NO idea what it is!

Christine J

Fairy...this is a great thread. When I need a laugh...I check in and read the posts again! Thanks!

kmdd22

Yes these stories are hilarious....I am going to be checking back on these too!!Please submit more as they come up often!!!!Thanks everyone for sharing them......domsdad yours were epic especially the driving one mentioned above and the Dominic name one with so many different Dominics in one place at the same time!!!

cammigirl

Walter said something funny this morning. We were on our way to school and he said "Mom, there's a strange looking bug on the window." I replied "That's okay as long as he's outside the car and not inside". His reply was "But he looks like he wants to eat me". I laughed and said "Is he licking his lips?" After a pause, he said "once". That'll have me going for the rest of the day.

idahobot

My youngest son was always a smart kid. When he was just learning to talk there were a lot of words he didn't know yet, but he would do his best to figure things out. One day we were outside and the leaves were falling off the willow tree in our front yard. He asked what those things falling off the tree were called and I told him they were leafs. A few days later he noticed that our green parakeet had lost some feathers and he told me "the bird is losing its leafs" it was so funny but i didn't want to laugh at him and make him feel bad, but I told him that when the "leafs are on a bird we call them feathers" he looks funny at that but says nothing. a few days later we were at a friends house who has some fancy fish with long fins and tails. He says "those fish have pretty feathers". I just couldn't correct him again. I still tell the story and he is 31 now. he was only 2 years old then.

happydays fairy

i real love this post to and thanks to all for adding we all need a good laugh at times .Today my son had a hospital medical appoinment we got through it was a struggle but i was expecting that to be honest but when it was over i was just glad to be going home so we go down the escalator to where the door is to get out and my son goes back up the escalator so i go up when i get there he is already going back down the escaltor waving to me yep u guessed it i go on the one to get down and hes on the one going up we must of looked lie a right pair of lunatics as im saying oiiiiiiiiiiii come here now so i get to the bottom ive gave up so i sit there while he is up down up down people are walking past saying wow he is really fascinated by them ,i lost count when i got to 20 times up and 20 times down so then i basically see him coming down and pace in him and have to carry him away and out the door phew i thinks and put him down we then see his uncle kevin who we not seen for long time oh hi ya i said look round and yep hes ran back in and back on the escalator so off i go again finally i grab him and say we need to go now no more i take him outside look him in eye and say i mean no more ok so back to uncle kevin ,i say to my son this is your uncle kevin he looks at him and says as clear as anything wowwwwwwww your fat !!!! omg i hate it when this happens luckily kevin saw funny side and said well he is honest!! on way home i once again had the talk with him to say it is not nice to say that why he says he is fat though ohhhhhh let me tell you i was so glad to get home but thinking of it now it must of looked so funny on escalators sooooooo exhausting at times but i do love my autistic son and what was so nice is a ambulance lady came along when he was on escalators and said your brilliant you have so much patience to me that made me smile xx

Christine J

Fairy...you have a heart of gold! First, just letting your son ride the escalator for so long and second for sharing...I laughed so much, I cried...with you of course! We have to laugh at ourselves or we'd just cry or pull out all our hair!
It also makes be look back and see some of the things my daughter said or did and laugh too.
Thanks all for sharing!

happydays fairy

lol christine it is funny now mind you at time i cud of sat on floor stamped me feet and screamed lol ,omg yeah the things they say now that would be a thing here to share !! i have soooooooo many of them ones ,heres one for ya ,we tried to take him to join this judo club so i did the explaining what will happen promised to stay with him etc we get there first lesson i see him staring at instructor he starts getting real fidgity he walks over to him and at time he was talking to a parent now my son if he has summing to say he has to say it then yes im teaching him to wait well trying and he says excuse me excuse me excuse me over and over i say wait mate the mans talking but he wont give up escuse me man? the man turns to him and says yes young man ? my son then very panicy says ummm your face is bleeding bad ,i was like uhohhhhhhhh in my head ,the man chuckled then had to expain to him its not bleeding its a birth mark i was born with it on my face to which my son said urghhhhhhh and walked off !!,we had a big talk on birthmarks on way home hopefully now he understands more xx

happydays fairy

my son is making me laugh today ,as he wants a bit of independance in the kitchen lmao i let him microwave his tomato soup he has just taken a big liking to ITS NOT DRY WAHAYYY so in the last hour he has made in the microwave 4 bowls of custard for me ,tea bag water hotchoclate and milk and sugar drink and hot weetabix ,he comes up with ahuge smile on his face at how clever he is and im saying thank you very much ive now told him as kindly as i can that im a bit full up now ok he says and off he goes to make for rest of family he is a cutie i think i need go buy some more milk though lol xx

Mama Nix

Go Jack, he is taking care of Mummy what a hero!!

I love you big man - keep it up!

happydays fairy

hmmmm i just had these people come to my door 2 sweet old ladies talking about god silly me got them talking so much as they says we are asking people what would make you happy what would bring you happiness i said ummm a move to spain wud be nice please i then realised they was being proper serious so i say actually what would bring me happiness is if autism was made more aware and understood ,my bloke says why do you have to talk to them but i cant be rude shut door and say go away that not very nice is it so i told them if there is a god why do kids get poorly and people die ? she then tried letting me borrow her bible i say it ok i can go library and left me leaflets instead but hey if someone comes to your door and immediately says what would make you happy of course im gunna say a move to spain right? lol

happydays fairy

this is real funny today i see this car and it had sticker in window that said THIS CAR IS MAGIC this drew me to walk over to it i know i bit of kid and read all of it and says THIS CAR IS MAGIC watch the petrol disapear lol xx

happydays fairy

My son just came to me and said mummy yesterday when i pick you flowers this lady came to me i said ok he said she said id leave them flowers alone if i was you ,he said ok then and carried on picking she ten said again mummy id leave them flowers alone he replied ok then he said and then mummy she said if i was you i would leave those flowers alone again he said ok then then mummy she says are you going to leave them flowers alone and he replied with will you just leave me alone please to which she walked off ,lol i guess in his way of thinking he thought well your not me so i ent gunna leave the flowers alone xx

mumofanna

A few years back when I was out one evening, a guy walked up to me in the bar and said if I saw you naked I would die a happy man!! <shock, horror>... I turned, looked at him and quick as a flash said...

And if I saw you naked, I would die laughing!!! lol :0)

happydays fairy

ahahhhahaaaaaaaa xx

Rosmom

Liz your very funny.

cammigirl

To funny, Mumofanna!

Christine J

On Friday, I was working at NY State LOB with one of our consumers. He was talking about sending the legislators and messengers to Alaska. I suggested we send our governor too. He told me no that the governor needed to go to the dessert. When I asked which one, he told me Antarctica. I told him I wish...we laughed. That man may be disabled but he has lost his mind...he is trying to furlough the state work force. How taking 1/5 of our income is going to help the state, I have no idea! If we don't have that money, we can't spend it and the sales tax revenue goes down and more. November can't come fast enough!
Liz...I like your post too!

Rosmom

Christine I think we should impeach our corrupt Governor and the whole state Assembly.
I think they should not receive their salaries until they balance the budget.
A judge already stopped the furloughs. They will not allow them to break the contracts. They are binding contracts.
The budget crisis is because of their incompetence Why should they be payed anything? while Special Needs people suffer.
They are not above the law.
You left out that David Patterson attempted to give his staff raises and furlough everyone else . He is not even a legitimate Governor.

domsdad

last night i had a dream, one in which i spent a dollar on a lottery ticket for a chance to win a million dollars......well i won!!!!
however when i went to collect the money they said that there was a problem.
it seems that 2 million people won with the same number as me and seeing as how the prize was only a million they told me that i owed them another dollar!!!

Rosmom

Leo sounds like the story of my life.
I got twenty three dollars for four numbers years ago.
I know if I ever won. I would make a difference in the lifes of Autistic people.
This is what I was meant to do.

kmdd22

When i see posts like this --i agree Ros!!My calling too!!If i EVER win big i am going to help organize an ASN convention (some place nice of course) with some top speakers/every perspective here and loads of activities ALL of our family members could take part in!!

domsdad

if i ever won millions with my luck i would walk out to the mailbox to get my winnings check and get run over by the garbage truck!!...lol
i was talking to dal one day about going on a roadtrip with a film crew to meet people form asn where they live and get the whole thing on film. get their stories and live some time in their lives and put it all together for a documentary of some sorts, or maybe a dramatic comedy...lol
peace

kmdd22

Oh i forgot my funny post here goes--today while on bathroom duty at the school i had taken one child who does pretty well there but still requires prompting for some routine.Anyways i couldn't figure out who kept leaving the water dripping from one sink faucet in particular and have been having to turn it off the last week or so when i noticed.Well we have bathroom pec strips on the wall for handwashing routine and on the second last one is a faucet with the water dripping just a bit.Well today i found out just why that faucet is dripping and it is NOT by mistake.The little child that i brought there today made reference to this very specific pec and proceeded to try and leave the faucet dripping just a tad EXACTLY like in the picture after he had finished washing his hands.Of course i couldn't smile but HIS visuals are that exact for him that he kept trying to do it exactly like the picture and let me know that he was following routine.So when i would turn it totally off he would yell NO and showed ME the picture!!As usually it 's the other way around.Bless his heart...(this is the same little guy who picks me those bouquets by the way and when he saw my tooth was hurting today from the way i was talking... he was trying to kiss my swollen cheek better)Guess you can see why some of my very best friends who are quite small... are some of my most nearest and dearest to me.

kmdd22

:).

[Updated on 5/18/2010 9:08 PM]

Rosmom

Kris you are doing what you were meant too.
I am so sorry you were hurt.
I can almost feel the pain. My son has crashed into me.

Rosmom

Kris I hope you will be out of pain soon.
I wish I had a job like yours. I am too busy with my son.
I hope you know that every child you work with is truly blessed.
It so obvious that you do an awesome job with these children.

kmdd22

Thanks Ros!!!Much appreciated!! Kris:)

Leo-Forgot to mention that you could call it ASN Roadshow!!You would never run out of story topics or interesting people to meet but being that you would have to cover huge territories --you may run out of money!!Would probably cost a small fortune to produce such a show but imagine the possibilities that could come from it!!!
[Updated on 5/19/2010 4:37 PM]

happydays fairy

my daughter woah!, says mummy i am not a kid i can do what i want now !!!! ummmmm i say reality check you are 6 years old and i make the rules here my love xx

Christine J

This is more ironic than funny. My daughter who can't seem to make it through more than 2 days in a row in school without and issue, leading to me homeschooling for half a year, got an award at Girls Inc last night: The Strong, Smart and Bold Award for Positive Behavior! It's amazing what recognizing her autism, dealing with her with respect and compassion can do! I can't wait to show that to the school officials and tell them that it's amazing what happens when the staff listens to me, listens to her and shares information with me so I can process it with her! Can you tell...I'm one proud momma!

Rosmom

Christine congratulations to you and your daughter.
You are an awesome Mother and teacher.
That is why your daughter is doing well.
We all know how wonderful you are.
I am truly happy for you.

Ros

happydays fairy

beep beep beep attention attention this vehicle is reversing beep beep beep attention attention this vehicle is reversing roflmao its great how every monday morning the bin lorry talks ahahahahhaaaa xx

happydays fairy

my son just came to me he pointed at my leg and said mummy what is that ?,i said thats a mole he said wow you have a mole in your leg how did it get in there mummy i then realized he was talking of a actual real live mole as in a animal i laughed so much he stood looking at me weird and said why are you laughing i said not a real mole he said why cant it be called hedgehog instead i explained this is another name for it and that it dont mean i have a real mole in my leg bless his heart xx

Mama Nix

aww bless, it is no wonder they get confused is it??!?

I can imagine his face when you laughed, and I like the idea of calling them hedgehogs!!

Hugggggggggs for jack

wsn1946

This may not be so funny, but it was in retrospect (after the event). My wife and i had just gotten to england from germany. we were at an outdoor cafe in knightsbridge, london. a group of ugly americans came in and sat down. they ordered iced tea, without knowing that to most englishmen iced tea is the same as sewer water (as i sit here in the usa drinking iced tea - reverting to old habitats) .

Anyway, they insisted on iced tea and demanded to see the manager. the manager politely told them, "we don't do iced tea." The yanks got angry and rudely told the manager to pour some tea in a glass and just add some ice.

My wife and i were so embarrassed we started talking in german so that no one would think we were americans.

[Updated on 5/24/2010 6:59 PM]

domsdad

sunday morning we were fixing breakfast and my wife asked my daughter if she put the toast in the toaster yet.
dominic heard this and said mom you put bread into the toaster! then its comes out toast!
some time back a friend was telling us he had to replace his hot water heater.....dominic asked....why do you heat your hot water? we have a cold water heater...lol

Christine J

Isn't it great to have our children tell us how things REALLY are??!! Kari does that too. God forbid if you misprounce a name or word...English or French...she will make you practice until you get it right!
You have a chef in the making and I have a linguist in the making! :)

cammigirl

That's too funny, fairy!

Aren't our kids grand?

happydays fairy

today i attended a meeting about my son the head said do you know your son came first place in the croquet tournament you will be very proud i sat a bit shocked said wow thats brilliant i never realised he would be into knitting to be honest ,yes the whole room laughed and explained to me what croquet was i says well i ent as posh as you lot again they laughed and i said well basically a bit like posh golf then really ,oh well you learn summing new every day and before anyone says it i know im a donut lol xx oh and back to the mole post i said to my son today do you still think i have a mole in my leg he said as serious as anything well yes you said you have a mole on leg duhhhhhhhh mummy xx

happydays fairy

i just heard something come through the letterbox ,i stood at top of stairs and watch my son go to the door he picked up the 2 leaflets advertising something looked at them with a puzzled face did a big oh its a hard life sigh and opened the front door i watched him from window as was wondering what he was up to he took the leaflets with a big shrug walked to the next door neighbours posted the leaflets through there door and walked slowly back to our house and shut the door it was so funny to watch ,lol hes sharing the post right ?? lol

caroline lewis

thats a good way to get rid off junk mail, can i borrow him fairy lol

brandonsmom

I have no idea where this came from, but every time I give Brandon chicken noodle soup, he keeps saying "It's my birthday soup!" It's not even near his birthday time. The word must sound right to him.

Christine J

Does Brandon think it's 'birdie' soup? Birdie and birthday sound a lot alike. Just a thought.

La Luna

Yes sound like he does "Birdie" and "Birthday" is kinda sound the same. The best way to find out is to show him a picture of a chicken and see if he says birdie ou birthday. Then you will know.

[Updated on 5/28/2010 5:16 PM]

kmdd22

Okay i have two small tidbits for this thread that happened this week at work......(thought i would add them to lighten the mood today)First one goes as follows:

While assisting a little boy on spectrum whose learning to grasp his pencil and write in the space between the lines for beginning a printing assignment.We are sitting at a table with several other children.Usually i must do small dots with a marker to let him know to connect them in order to print the required letters.So he finishes the assignment with ease and one little NT girl also working at our table waits then puts her page in front of me and says can you do that for me too?I said do what.... and she says well i think some of those polka dots would help me too.........

The other funny episode occurs when we are getting everyone ready to catch the bus at the end of the day.......the other small boy who i also assist sometimes....is ready to line up and catch the bus.While still in line passes by in the hallway and walks by the Speech paths room...a room he goes to for therapy (often) ....he knows a couple words and says "Bye ho".......she looks up and is shocked by the language not realizing at first who it is speaking until she sees who it is.(The real meaning behind this little boy attempting to say "bye i am going home".Most of the words he does have only have the first part of the phonic sound of the word and seldom the endings such as the example!!!!Cute and funny without even trying to be!!!(A real sweetie exactly as he already is....).

[Updated on 6/9/2010 9:13 PM]

cammigirl

That was too funny, KMD!

Christine J

Kris...great stories...kids do say the funniest things!

Christine J

My funny thing for today is that I can't seem to post right...I tried to do it twice....I'm all thumbs today!

happydays fairy

ringing up mama nix and this is conversation ...(nix) hello (fairy)hello can i speak with mrs h please (nix) yes speaking (fairy trying not to laugh)hello this is mrs wing (nix)who (fairy)mrs wing (nix)who sorry ?? (fairy tears running down face by now) it is mrs wing (nix all serious) sorry i dont know mrs wing ? (fairy nearly gunna pee herself ) yes mrs wing ( giggles come out now) FAIRY IS THAT YOU FAIRY ?? ahahahhahahaha that was so funny haha got you that time mama nix 1-0 to meee lol xx

stephenie.ells

hahahahahah soooooooooooooo funny babe omg i wuda pissed meself laffin xxx

La Luna

This just happen.My 2 years old son is obsess with teeth. So when he gets to know the person he sit down on their lap and open their mouth. Yes it is embarrassing. So my next door neighbour comes to visit. My son goes to her lap and tries to see her teeth. When he opens her mouth her false teeth falls out. My son runs so fast to me and with fear all over his face. I was wondering if he thought he push to hard and broke her teeth. Like he did with the mobiles and remote contols.
I really having a bad day and now cant stop laughing

deeslexia

2 year old, crying - ' i bumped my head '
'Where did you bump your head ? '
' In the kitchen '
budding spie ?
Hei-dee

domsdad

i took my 2 kids and my daughters 2 friends to the park today to go walking in a river that is full of huge rocks. afterwards we went to get a bite to eat. there was a young teenager there waiting to place a to-go order and he had his pants hanging half down with his boxer shorts showing...yeah you know the type....
in front of about 12 people dominic walks up to the kid and says..... hey your pants are hanging down fool pull them up why dont ya ya look like a goob!
the kid got embarresed because all the adults in the room were snickering and actually pulled his pants up.

autism momma

Pants on the ground.Lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.

Rosmom

Leo thanks for making laugh.

Jahki Brown

Its probably not funny but I'll give it a shot, after at least 5 years of ,sugar and caffiene addiction I've finally brain washed myself back into anti biotic free ph balanced health with a vegeatables only diet. The strategy that has worked for more than 2 month was to convince myself that only vegetables are food and every thing else isn't. But watching me shop must be interesting, I walk around the super market and every thing I see that I use to buy I mutter "Its's not food,only vegetables are food", When I first started it I think I was mostly shouting it at chocolate , cheese cakes, chocolate fuilled croisants,rich cheeses,mocho chino etc , They didn't seem to mind but I was vaguely aware that every one in the super market was giving me a wide birth and looking at me funny.

Jahki Brown

Clicked twice, probably nervous about trying to tell a funny story...not my best ability, it's like telling jokes....

kmdd22

Well Jahki you did a great job and I think it's a funny post!!Going around talking to yourself is something i do frequently.(Chocolates one of my faves too so trying to convince yourself not to have it would be hard).--oh and since we're on foods we love... our fresh local strawberries are finally out and they are delicious...my mind often wonders!!Not funny..i know but i had to throw it in.

Jahki Brown

Kmdd...... they're not vegetables so I'd probably shout at them too...thanks for the "funny?" support...I'm much more comfortable in drama....Jahki